Author Archives: 0coriolanus0

Most awful Spider Video Ever Made… Imagine this thing under the sheets and then imagine what it will be like to kill yourself

Seriously the most awful spider video you will ever see.. Imagine this ending up in your house… Mommy spider with about 1000 babies latched onto her back

After I saw this and figured out exactly what it was I shot my house with a predator drone and moved into a hotel.. No regrets… Not even the whole not telling my ex about the predator drone on its way… Fuck this man… look at all those little fuckers, they go on forever, I would seriously rather die then imagine this thing ending up in my bed and me moving and causing those things to come loose….

Mike Epps Threatens to Fuck His Daughter Up in a Phone Call

“Bitch I’ll fuck your ass up”

“You the fuckin DEVIL Bria, The fuckin DEVIL”

“You Aint tough”

Ok So this might be one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Mike Epps is hysterical in everything he’s in. Might be one of the most underrated dudes in Hollywood. You cant help but laugh at this and feel HORRIBLE for Mikey at the same time. His daughter, the little bitch, is RECORDING the whole thing which is a real FAIL right there in itself. Who are you, you little snitch, recording this shit so you can sell it off the TMZ cause your pops did something with his life. She’s like a little fuckin’ Fed walkin’ around his house.

I hate people like this, seriously, She probably records herself getting peed on my R-Kelly in between goating her dad and getting her salad tossed by Ice Cube. Mike doesnt handle this well. The empty threats are done Mike, this bitch is 18, cut her off. Be done with her, she wants to talk all that shit and act all tough, no more bread. Quit telling your daughter she aint tough, not a good look bro. Gotta play it way more cool than that.

Biggest Assholes you’ve ever seen… “Yeah we went out and slaughtered 20 wolves today, how bout you?”

 

This Picture speaks for itself… People in Alaska suck… Sarah Palin started me thinking about how much white people in Alaska sucked then I turned on the Discovery and NatGEO channels and it confirmed it.. This is just reaffirming conventional wisdom. These people are fucks and should be dealt with as such. Ideally, Shot at from a helicopter by a .50 caliber rifle while they are eating.

Native Alaskans, or as I call them Eskimos, would NEVER do this. Those people love the land, they cherish it and treat it with respect and for these people to do this its like a slap in the face. Or, Depending on how you look at it, a favor. I mean if I’m an Eskimo with a pack of fucking wolves coming at me like Jerry Sandusky to a 10 year old child I might look at it as a favor when two rednecks who somehow procured a helicopter came and blew those bastards away.

Reality: Thats not what happened and these two fucks should be eaten alive by wild animals…

 

 

Princeton Grad Student/Creepiest Asian Stalker you have ever heard of… This dude is HORRIBLE

(Daily Princetonian)

For two and a half years, Michael Lohman, a Ph.D. student in the applied math department, had been stalking Asian female students. He had been stealing their undergarments, cutting off their hair or squirting his semen and urine on them while riding the shuttle bus and pouring his bodily fluids into their drinks in the Graduate College and Fine Hall.

According to an article in The Advocate, Lohman has been accused of nearly 80 offenses: contaminating about 50 drinks, squirting semen and urine on about 20 women and snipping the hair of at least eight women. “And those are probably conservative numbers,” Princeton Borough Police Lt. Dennis McManimon is reported to have said in the same article.

As disgusting as Lohman’s offenses may be, equally disturbing is the fact that it took the University and the Department of Public Safety two-and-a-half years to take any serious action. The complaints started coming in as early as October of 2002, when DPS received a report about a white man introducing an unidentified liquid into an Asian woman’s drink. Similar incidents of beverage tampering were reported in April 2003 and May 2004. In spite of the striking details they shared, these reports were treated by DPS as isolated incidents. What is one to make of the length of time that elapsed and the number of women who were allowed to be victimized before the authorities finally managed to connect the dots?

How about the fact that it took the University two-and-a half-years to issue a Campus Safety Alert admonishing students to beware of a pervert lurking in their midst? The University and the dorm administrators routinely issue bulletins when less serious events occur, such as the theft of a laptop. At the very least, in the absence of evidence identifying the perpetrator, the University could have advised students to exercise some unusual precaution in the campus dining facilities.

Shock and consternation were among the reactions of Princeton students to the way the University handled the events:

“It actually happened to a friend of mine,” wrote a University graduate student in an email, “but she didn’t know what he had put in her drink. When she complained to Public Safety, I don’t think they even told her that other people were in the same situation.”

Lohman’s actions fit the federal definition of hate crime: a crime in which the perpetrator selects victims on the basis of their race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or disability. The fact that he victimized such a large number of women — 80 in all — on the basis of their Asian background underscores the racial motivation behind his crimes. But he has not been charged with committing a hate crime. Neither has he been charged with sexual harassment, even though his crimes were blatantly of a sexual nature.

The fact that Lohman is married to an Asian could, one might say, complicate attempts to classify his acts as hate crime. This does not mitigate his crimes. Whatever feelings he may have for his wife are irrelevant when his actions clearly indicate contempt for Asian women as a group as well as an apparent belief that he could get away with treating these persons in an abusive manner. If he had any doubt in his mind that he could transgress with impunity, it must have been allayed somewhat by the knowledge that he is a white man and his victims are Asian women.

At this time, the judicial outcome of this case remains unclear: whether he will get prosecuted and sentenced, or if he will be allowed to return to Princeton after having been barred from campus.

Also unclear is how the administration will address the vulnerability of Asian women at Princeton in the event that Lohman is permitted to return to campus. As for the victims and witnesses, it is imperative that they come forward, speak out and report to their dean’s offices and DPS to help ensure that the case is treated with the seriousness that it merits.

The grand jury hearing on Michael Lohman is imminent. Victims and witnesses who have not already done so should immediately contact the Mercer County Prosecutor’s Office (609-989-6309).

Gladys Um

Alright Mike, we need to talk, This is BEYOND horrible, I would rather have you rape me with a pool cue then jerk off into my drink and “Squirt Semen and Urine” on me while I’m riding the shuttle bus to class, because at least with the pool cue I can snatch it from him, break it in half, and stab him in the face with it..

The whole Asian thing is also a little creepy, I know some of us are a little picky, some of us will pretty much fuck anything. Your asian student stalking is taking the picky thing to a whole new level. I think the real question becomes did he choose Princeton because it was a good school or did he choose princeton because he knew there would be a truck load of Asian chicks in his Bio-Chemical Engineering class??  Hes sending a message to Asian stalkers everywhere… Princeton is where its at. And I can tell you from personal experience, the asian supply at Princeton rivals the Prick supply at Virginia Tech..

Go get em Mikey, hope that whole Asian fetish works out for you in the slammer… Find yourself a squirrel master ASAP!!!

Dirty Bieber Secrets Website (BSP BEST OF COLLECTION)…. To Catch A Predator

The BarStoolSports.Com Best Of Dirty Bieber Secrets Collection

Ok, So Normally I wouldnt just throw over a link to another blog (even if it is a favorite) but our friends over at BarStool have OUTDONE themselves. They sifted through the wreckage of broken lives and prison sentences to find some of the most compelling writing since Sullivan Ballou was writing his wife from a trench at The Battle of Gettysburg. The really horrible part about this is that its sooooooo hard to differentiate between the 14 year-old chicks (these are the ones who would give you a beej in the bathroom at the 8th grade dance because you looked at them in class that day) and the 47 year old guy whose username is @FREESANDUSKY.

I hate child touchers as much as the next guy but I think Biebs ultra-femine (obviously kid fondler friendly) physique has really caught on with the sex offender community, I mean they really seem to love this kid. So I challenge you, see if you can decide whose 13 and whose 50…   And both groups should have there gens put in a metal cage like the chick in Men In Tights.

And honestly I dont care who you are if you think Justin Bieber is a sexual object and not the piece of corporate laced shit he is and you arnt a retarded 15 year old girl (and your treating your body like an amusement park when hes on TV)……   Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger

“It would be so hot to watch Justin fuck Peter Griffin from Family Guy”     @SanduskyPSU

-M

Our Workaholic Friends know how it’s done… And if you havnt seen the “To Friend a Predator” episode go on Netflix and do yourself a favor

Amazingly awful tattoo leads to amazingly public Facebook breakup!!! UNREAL FB Thread!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continued…..   HORRIBLE FACEBOOK BREAKUP!!

So lets pretend for a moment your this guy and some chick you’ve been seeing for a little over a week has just gone and gotten your face tatted on her arm. I actually blame him for this, If he didn’t have the ability to know right off the bat this girl wasn’t playing with a full deck neither is he. The type of person who does something like this is someone who has significant issues with both parents and significant others and probably used her bicep because she’s got all her other ex’s plastered all over the rest of her body.

 

People Stand around and Watch as Cop Bleeds to Death in the middle of the street… Oh Yeah and It’s in India

Wow….  Is All I have to Say…..    Just Wow.  How, in a nation with over a billion people where more then half of them are Doctors, albeit doctors covered in feces, hair and a curry tainted B.O that could drop a mountain goat, can all these people stand around and watch this guy die and literally do nothing…  And By Nothing, I mean, NOTHING…  N.O.T.H.I.N.G….  The guy rolls around on the street gushing blood and noone even offers him a ride to the local hospital in the back of their goat truck….

Maybe the Indians just hate cops over there as much as we do over here… I can name a few neighborhoods in DC where people wouldnt have even bothered to video tape it….

Its Obviously the wild west out there, I’m sure they just hand the badge over to the next guy….   “Dont worry, anything happen, we got your back”

~M

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Greatest Freakout Ever!

So, I dont know if you Twats have had the opportunity to watch any of the “Greatest Freakout Ever” videos on youtube yet, but if not, do it now, right now. Theres like 30 of them and they are all ridiculous.

For those who are unaccustomed, These videos revolve around two brothers, Jack and Stephen. Jack is your normal everyday kid who realized early on that his brother has a HYSTERICAL anger problem and decided to take advantage of it like every other red-blooded american, have your parents buy you a video camera and upload you brothers freak-outs on youtube where over a million people will watch it and goddamn Old Spice will sponsor you.

First of all let me say if I was Stephen’s dad that annoying little fuck would have been handcuffed to a rail in my basement getting beaten unrelentingly with a tire iron a longgggg time ago. That sack of shit sings like a goddamn canary every time his family interacts with him and I’ll be honest with you, hasnt gotten old yet. Jack knows that his meal ticket is now his brothers inability to control his temper and I can only see things escalating from there.

I have no sympathy for this family, they put up with this little asshole so he acts like this. Real power move mom “Stephen please go do the dishes”, Kid hasnt done shit in years what makes you think you whining back at him is going to have any effect whatsoever.   YOU PEOPLE ARE NUTS!!! However on the positive side, when Stephen finally loses it a little to much and murders his joke of a family in their sleep, Jack’s camera will probably be running and it will ensure that at least we can put this fucker to death without having to think twice about it.

But really though, tell me you wouldnt have shot this kid YEARS ago if he was your bro?????

~Mal

And The Healthiest State of them allll Isssssssss……..

CNN –  The state with the highest score for “well-being” is Hawaii, according to the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, a poll that surveys the physical, mental and emotional health of Americans.

With its fair weather and scenic views, Hawaii led in overall well-being as its residents were most likely to report that they had smiled and/or laughed the day before and had the lowest rates of stress and depression.

They also tended to report better eating and exercise habits, and lower smoking rates.

The poll examined people’s ratings in life evaluation (whether they saw themselves as struggling or thriving), physical health (obesity, number of sick days taken over the month), emotional health (happiness, depression, stress), healthy behaviors (smoking, eating, exercising), work environment (job satisfaction, treatment at work) and basic access (safety in the neighborhood, access to medicine, doctor, health insurance).

The poll surveyed a random sample of 353,492 adults using random-digit-dial sampling during 2011. The maximum margin of sampling error is ±1 percentage point.

Here are the top five states in well-being scores:

1. Hawaii
2. North Dakota
3. Minnesota
4. Alaska
5. Utah

The top five large metropolitan areas for well-being scores were:

1. San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, California
2. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-Virginia-Maryland
3. San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont, California
4. Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, Minnesota-Wisconsin
5. Charlotte-Gastonia-Concord, North Carolina-South Carolina

Geographically, Western and Midwestern states fared well in health scores while the Southern states usually sat lower. Southern states also tended to have the highest obesity rates.

The top five worst states for well-being scores:

1. West Virginia
2. Kentucky
3. Mississippi
4. Delaware
5. Ohio

Really Gallup and CNN, What a fuckin shocker…   You mean the state where people literally go to work in a g-string most days of the week and their chief exports back to the mainland are NFL Lineman and crippling depression for about 46 other states 10 months out of the year?  Yeah must be rough staying healthy when you live on a goddamn tropical island, I just cant figure out how North Dakota, Minnesota and Utah ended up on this stupid list. No shocker that the people in West Virginia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Delaware and Ohio all want their lives to end in the next few days. Also, whoever is responding to these Gallup polls must be out of their goddamn mind if they think the DC-Metro area is a happy place to live. Welcome to Washington, DC, Home of the 4 hour commute, the low altitude fly-overs the 4 cops for every citizen and Marion Barry…..   I wanna blow my fucking brains out every goddamn morning,

But Hey….   At Least we aint Cleveland

~Mal

WELCOME TO THE TWATTER!!!!!

Heya to All You Twatters out there,

Welcome to the Greatest Blog of All Time

This is a Blog By Bros for Bros, Sports, Tail, Cars, Tail, Trees, Tail, Money, Tail, and best of all…..   More Tail….    Because man, do we love fuckin Tail,

So sit back, relax and enjoy your daily dose of everything funny, interesting and irrelevant going on in the world.

Please Note: We will be Hiring/Recruiting Writers/Contributors immediately (Yea we pay)

Love Always,

Mal

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