Amazingly awful tattoo leads to amazingly public Facebook breakup!!! UNREAL FB Thread!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continued…..   HORRIBLE FACEBOOK BREAKUP!!

So lets pretend for a moment your this guy and some chick you’ve been seeing for a little over a week has just gone and gotten your face tatted on her arm. I actually blame him for this, If he didn’t have the ability to know right off the bat this girl wasn’t playing with a full deck neither is he. The type of person who does something like this is someone who has significant issues with both parents and significant others and probably used her bicep because she’s got all her other ex’s plastered all over the rest of her body.

 

Some people just should not rob banks

Sacramento police have found no bombs despite threats from a man arrested after he allegedly robbed a Wells Fargo branch this afternoon.

Instead, they found stolen cash, a few of the suspect’s personal belongings and a couple apple pies from McDonald’s, according to police.

The suspect went inside the bank, at Capitol Avenue and Alhambra Boulevard, early this afternoon and demanded cash, threatening that he had a bomb inside a package that he placed in front of the teller, said police Sgt. Andrew Pettit.

He fled on foot with a “substantial” amount of cash as people in the bank called police. Arriving officers quickly found the suspect hiding in a nearby parking garage, Pettit said.

The suspect fought with officers, and threatened that he had a bomb in a backpack he was carrying, Pettit said.

Police evacuated the bank and called out the bomb squad to inspect the backpack and a package that was left inside the bank.

Officers ultimately determined that the package inside the bank was a McDonald’s bag with apple pies inside, Pettit said, and inside the man’s backpack police found the stolen cash and some personal belongings.

Police have not yet released the suspect’s name, and detectives remain on scene processing it for evidence.

You know, there are some people that can rob banks and get away with.  But there are also some people that should just think of a batter ways to get money. This Twat is one of the latter. I mean, yes, eating McDonald’s everyday will eventually kill you, but you cannot kill with McDonald’s.

Not only does he have a terrible plan to rob the bank with apple pies as weapons, but he also had a terrible escape plan. Hide in a nearby parking garage? Come on dude, at least have some sort of get away car, bike or segway.  Don’t just hide in some piss smelling parking deck with a bag full of cash and a bag of bombs (apple pies!) like they wouldn’t come find you.

This guy must have been smoking something really good because not only did he have a bag full of apple pies, but he also had one of the worst robbery plans I have ever seen.

-LT

This guy needs to be in every city in the US

Plainville, Conn. (WTNH) – A man tampered with a Plainville gas pump and made off with a tank of gas for only $5. Now police are looking for the man and his car.

Surveillance shows the man drives a white Cadillac Deville, possibly a 2002.

The suspect headed inside a local gas station after snapping the cabinet bolts of the pump station.

He handed the attendant a $5 bill and then proceeded to pump .91 cents worth of gas. He then stopped and went back inside to tell the attendant he made a mistake when he selected the grade of gas. The attendant turned the pump back on with a balance of $4.09.

When the suspect went back to his car, he entered the pump cabinet where he pulled a cotter pin from the gear metering device known as a pulser. This allowed the suspect to fill up his tank un-metered.

After filling up, he headed out.

The owner of the Citgo gas station, Mahbub Ahmed said they lost “almost 100 gallons, so nearly 400 dollars, 378 dollars.”

This guy is the fuckin man! How big are his balls? I want to learn how to do this and I want to learn now!

The best part is that this guy is on the run with a full tank of gas, so he got the fuck out of there and is not going back.

Oh Boo fuckin Hoo, the owner lost almost $400.He deserves that shit for charging people like me $65 to fill the tank of my Cherokee with $4 of your shitty gas. I do not feel bad for the Citgo owner at all. He had this shit coming.

People like this gas-bandit deserve to be praised. It kind of reminds me of that line in Boondock Saints:

“You guys should be in everyone fuckin city” -Rocco.

-LT

Snooki Pregant??

Sources tell the New York Post that the guidette is expecting her first child with boyfriend Jionni LaValle. Apparently, the 24-year-old has been taking notes from the Kardashian family and wants to “bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming ‘the next Kourtney Kardashian.’” The publication goes on to claim that the Kardashian-in-training has a deal with US Weekly for an announcement on the cover of its magazine.

Who the fuck in their right mind would knock this ugly troll up? I don’t watch Jersey Shore for the single reason of seeing this drunk whore roaming around with booze leaking out of her twat.
This story really made laugh at the country we live in. She gets a deal with US Fucking Weekly to break the story on the cover for who knows how much money, while crazy middle school kids are shooting up the cafeteria at school. This shit is so stupid, I do not even want to blog about it anymore.

-LT

p.s. I didn’t even get started with the Karashian-in-training part. I will leave that up for discussion.

People Stand around and Watch as Cop Bleeds to Death in the middle of the street… Oh Yeah and It’s in India

Wow….  Is All I have to Say…..    Just Wow.  How, in a nation with over a billion people where more then half of them are Doctors, albeit doctors covered in feces, hair and a curry tainted B.O that could drop a mountain goat, can all these people stand around and watch this guy die and literally do nothing…  And By Nothing, I mean, NOTHING…  N.O.T.H.I.N.G….  The guy rolls around on the street gushing blood and noone even offers him a ride to the local hospital in the back of their goat truck….

Maybe the Indians just hate cops over there as much as we do over here… I can name a few neighborhoods in DC where people wouldnt have even bothered to video tape it….

Its Obviously the wild west out there, I’m sure they just hand the badge over to the next guy….   “Dont worry, anything happen, we got your back”

~M

Greatest Freakout Ever!

So, I dont know if you Twats have had the opportunity to watch any of the “Greatest Freakout Ever” videos on youtube yet, but if not, do it now, right now. Theres like 30 of them and they are all ridiculous.

For those who are unaccustomed, These videos revolve around two brothers, Jack and Stephen. Jack is your normal everyday kid who realized early on that his brother has a HYSTERICAL anger problem and decided to take advantage of it like every other red-blooded american, have your parents buy you a video camera and upload you brothers freak-outs on youtube where over a million people will watch it and goddamn Old Spice will sponsor you.

First of all let me say if I was Stephen’s dad that annoying little fuck would have been handcuffed to a rail in my basement getting beaten unrelentingly with a tire iron a longgggg time ago. That sack of shit sings like a goddamn canary every time his family interacts with him and I’ll be honest with you, hasnt gotten old yet. Jack knows that his meal ticket is now his brothers inability to control his temper and I can only see things escalating from there.

I have no sympathy for this family, they put up with this little asshole so he acts like this. Real power move mom “Stephen please go do the dishes”, Kid hasnt done shit in years what makes you think you whining back at him is going to have any effect whatsoever.   YOU PEOPLE ARE NUTS!!! However on the positive side, when Stephen finally loses it a little to much and murders his joke of a family in their sleep, Jack’s camera will probably be running and it will ensure that at least we can put this fucker to death without having to think twice about it.

But really though, tell me you wouldnt have shot this kid YEARS ago if he was your bro?????

~Mal

And The Healthiest State of them allll Isssssssss……..

CNN –  The state with the highest score for “well-being” is Hawaii, according to the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, a poll that surveys the physical, mental and emotional health of Americans. With its fair weather and scenic views, Hawaii led in overall well-being as its residents were most likely to report that they had smiled and/or laughed the day before and had the lowest rates of stress and depression. They also tended to report better eating and exercise habits, and lower smoking rates. The poll examined people’s ratings in life evaluation (whether they saw themselves as struggling or thriving), physical health (obesity, number of sick days taken over the month), emotional health (happiness, depression, stress), healthy behaviors (smoking, eating, exercising), work environment (job satisfaction, treatment at work) and basic access (safety in the neighborhood, access to medicine, doctor, health insurance). The poll surveyed a random sample of 353,492 adults using random-digit-dial sampling during 2011. The maximum margin of sampling error is ±1 percentage point. Here are the top five states in well-being scores: 1. Hawaii 2. North Dakota 3. Minnesota 4. Alaska 5. Utah The top five large metropolitan areas for well-being scores were: 1. San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, California 2. Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-Virginia-Maryland 3. San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont, California 4. Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, Minnesota-Wisconsin 5. Charlotte-Gastonia-Concord, North Carolina-South Carolina Geographically, Western and Midwestern states fared well in health scores while the Southern states usually sat lower. Southern states also tended to have the highest obesity rates. The top five worst states for well-being scores: 1. West Virginia 2. Kentucky 3. Mississippi 4. Delaware 5. Ohio

Really Gallup and CNN, What a fuckin shocker…   You mean the state where people literally go to work in a g-string most days of the week and their chief exports back to the mainland are NFL Lineman and crippling depression for about 46 other states 10 months out of the year?  Yeah must be rough staying healthy when you live on a goddamn tropical island, I just cant figure out how North Dakota, Minnesota and Utah ended up on this stupid list. No shocker that the people in West Virginia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Delaware and Ohio all want their lives to end in the next few days. Also, whoever is responding to these Gallup polls must be out of their goddamn mind if they think the DC-Metro area is a happy place to live. Welcome to Washington, DC, Home of the 4 hour commute, the low altitude fly-overs the 4 cops for every citizen and Marion Barry…..   I wanna blow my fucking brains out every goddamn morning,

But Hey….   At Least we aint Cleveland

~Mal

WELCOME TO THE TWATTER!!!!!

Heya to All You Twatters out there,

Welcome to the Greatest Blog of All Time

This is a Blog By Bros for Bros, Sports, Tail, Cars, Tail, Trees, Tail, Money, Tail, and best of all…..   More Tail….    Because man, do we love fuckin Tail,

So sit back, relax and enjoy your daily dose of everything funny, interesting and irrelevant going on in the world.

Please Note: We will be Hiring/Recruiting Writers/Contributors immediately (Yea we pay)

Love Always,

Mal